The Instant Family Man Read online

  Her eyes widened and she shrank farther behind Peyton. Damn. The kid was scared of him. She didn’t know him.

  And whose fault is that? a little voice whispered in his head.

  That was the moment that cemented it for Luke. He might suck at being a father, might have just found out he even was a father, but no way was he going to let another four years go by with his kid thinking he was a scary stranger.

  Peyton gave Madelyne a reassuring squeeze. “This is not a good time, Luke. We were just heading for the pool.”

  Not that he’d expected some instant bond just because he and the kid shared some DNA. But her wide-eyed trepidation made him feel like an interloper.

  If he had a snowball’s chance in hell of changing the look in Madelyne’s eyes, then he better start now. “How about I join you?”

  Surprise colored Peyton’s features. “Don’t you have other things on your agenda today?”

  The way she said other things almost sounded as if she was jealous. Which was impossible, considering he and Peyton had never been involved, never been anything more than friends.

  “Not anymore,” Luke said, though he was pretty sure the party would go on, with or without him. Seeing Peyton now, in that teeny-tiny bikini partially hidden by the knit dress, made whatever was happening back at Luke’s house seem very, very far away. To his recollection he had never seen her wearing a bikini before. And it made him realize that Peyton Reynolds had some very nice curves.

  Peyton gave him a dubious glance. “Okay. Let me grab another towel.” Maddy followed her, as close as an extra leg.

  “Auntie P, who’s that man?”

  Peyton, her hand halfway to the towel, turned and looked at Luke. Her eyes were wide and scared, like Madelyne’s had been a second ago. The look said Don’t upset this little girl’s world. She’s been through enough.

  He wanted to tell his daughter the truth, but some instinct deep in his gut said springing the fatherhood connection on a preschooler wasn’t the best choice. What was it that Peyton had said? Maddy had had enough uncertainty for now.

  It would upset her world, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He might not be good at being a father, might not have the slightest clue where to start with a child he didn’t even know, but he knew this much—dropping that shocking news into the life of a kid who’d just suffered a major loss would be a stupid move on his part.

  She needed get to know him first, and he needed to get comfortable with the idea of being a dad. He thought of his own father, of the impromptu wrestling matches in the living room; the way Bobby Barlow had cheered for each of his boys at every sporting event, all the times he’d taken them fishing or showed them how to fix a broken gate. That was being a dad. Walking into a room and announcing fatherhood was not. Right now, the truth was, he wasn’t a dad at all; he was just the sperm donor.

  And as scary as it seemed, a part of him wanted to change that.

  “I’m a friend of your mom’s and your aunt’s,” Luke said, taking a step into the room. Relief flooded Peyton’s features. “Just a friend.”

  He bent down and put out a hand. “I’m Luke.”

  Madelyne slid her tiny hand into Luke’s, her fingers as delicate as twigs. But she had a firm grip and her gaze was direct and assessing. It was weird, Luke thought, holding the hand of this tiny person who was half him.

  “I’m Madelyne,” she said. “I’m almost four.”

  “Nice to meet you, Madelyne.” He shook hands with her, then gave her a grin that he hoped spelled trustworthy and friendly. “Is it okay if I go swimming with you?”

  Madelyne bit her lip. Behind her, Peyton did the same, probably completely unaware she was mimicking her niece. There was a hushed anticipation in the air, a sense of worry and fear, and Luke got the feeling that this moment would set the tone for what was to come.

  “I dunno.” She cocked her head, sending a few of those curls springing off her shoulder. “Do you like doggies?”

  The non sequitur caught him off guard. “Uh, yeah, sure. I love doggies. Even have one of my own. His name is Charlie.”

  That made her brighten a little. “Can he come swimmin’ wif us?”

  “I didn’t bring him today, but if you come over to my house, you can see him. Would you like to come over sometime? With your aunt, of course.” He felt as nervous as a teenager waiting on Madelyne’s answer. Here he was, asking his own daughter, whose bright pink cheeks made her look like a porcelain doll, if she wanted to come over. If Madelyne said no, or shied away again, Luke would take it as a sign. Back away and leave her in the undoubtedly highly capable hands of Peyton.

  Madelyne toed at the carpet, then met his gaze with her own. Her eyes were dark pools, unreadable and still. “You promise? I can play with the doggy? I love doggies. They’re so furry and soft and they give kisses and eat cookies and play lots.”

  “I promise you can play with Charlie. Cross my heart.” Luke made the gesture across his chest, and for a second, he was four again himself, swearing allegiance to some pact he’d made with his brothers. Cross my heart and hope to die, they’d said back then, in that cavalier way of kids who thought the world lasted forever and mothers never died too young. “Sound good?”

  A tentative smile filled Madelyne’s face, and to Luke, that smile felt a lot like winning the lottery. “Okay.”

  A second later, the three of them were heading down the hall. Like a family, he thought, though they were far from any such thing. He was still the stranger, uninvited at that, tagging along on the visit to the pool.

  “Well, you clearly passed her test,” Peyton said.

  “I think the kid grades on a bell curve.”

  Peyton laughed. “Maddy’s pretty easy to please, most days. Plus, she figures anyone who loves dogs is okay. That’s her big criteria for everyone she meets.”

  “I’m lucky she sets the bar low.” He tossed Peyton a grin. She returned it, and the dark, threadbare hall seemed brighter for a moment.

  “Charlie to the rescue again,” she said. “That dog is quite the miracle worker, and he doesn’t even know it.”

  “That he is.” Luke’s gaze went down the corridor, but his mind reached into the past. To the days after he’d found Charlie, the dark days that haunted Luke still, when he would sneak Charlie into his room at night and whisper his regrets into the mutt’s caramel-colored fur. The dog would lean against him and listen, patient and true.

  “Honestly, I think that dog saved me rather than the other way around.” The admission slipped from Luke’s lips before he could stop it.

  “What do you—” Peyton’s question was cut off when Madelyne dashed ahead, reeling back when Peyton called out to her to take it easy, to walk instead of run. Dash, slow, dash, slow. It was like watching a yo-yo.

  Luke turned to Peyton. “She always this hyper?”

  Peyton laughed. “Hyper? Honey, this isn’t hyper. This is normal.”

  Something inside him tripped at the word honey. He knew it was an offhand comment, a word Peyton probably hadn’t even realized she’d said. He shook it off. He was here to figure out how he was going to be a father to a kid he never knew he had, not get wrapped up in the way Peyton looked or the words she used.

  Madelyne started skipping from diamond to diamond on the patterned rug while she sang a rhyming song about a whale and a lemon. She was wearing a pink-and-white polka-dot one-piece swimsuit with a ruffled skirt, matching sandals, and even had pink ribbons tied in bows around the twin braids in her hair. She seemed awfully dressed up just to get in the pool. Reason number five hundred and seventy-two why Luke wasn’t going to be very good at this fatherhood thing. He couldn’t braid hair or tie ribbons or color-coordinate shoes and bathing suits.

  But the more he looked, the more he could see himself in her eyes, her mannerisms. He saw Susannah in Maddy’s impish smile, in the way she danced down the hall. No doubt—this was his daughter.

  “I gotta warn you, I have zero experience w
ith kids,” Luke said. “I could screw this up without thinking twice.”

  Peyton shot him a smile. “You’ll be fine. Spending time with a four-year-old can be challenging, but it’s also not as hard as you think. I’ll be right there the whole time, ready to give you plenty of instructions and worried-auntie input.”

  He watched the girl stop and twirl in the hall, spinning and spinning and spinning while she went on and on about the whale and the lemon, and their new friend, a lime. Those braids spun out from Madelyne’s head, loosening a ribbon. Without missing a beat, Peyton stepped forward, retied the bow and sent Madelyne on her way.

  Maddy pushed on the door handle, flooding the hall with sunlight. “Wait, wait,” Peyton said, running up to Madelyne and putting a cautionary hand on the little girl’s shoulder. “Remember, you can’t just run out there. You need to take Auntie P’s hand.”

  “But I’m a big girl,” Madelyne said. “I can walk.”

  “Uh-huh. I’m sure you can. But it’s slippery around the pool.”

  Luke watched Madelyne slide her hand into Peyton’s and realized he would have never thought to hold the kid’s hand when they were near the pool. Heck, he probably wouldn’t even have stopped her from running in the halls. All clear signs that he would be a terrible babysitter. An even worse father. Was that even something he could learn? Was there a Dummies book he could read overnight? Or was he better off just staying clear of this whirling, busy girl?

  What if something happened to her? What if she ran into the street or tried to climb on the countertop? What if he wasn’t as attentive as he should be? Things could happen when he looked away, he knew that too well. The conviction that he could handle this—handle his own child—began to slip. “Peyton, we should talk.”

  “Can it wait a minute? I’ve been promising Maddy that she could go swimming all day and we only have an hour until I need to feed her lunch.”

  “Uh, okay.”

  Peyton led Madelyne outside, then pulled some kind of blown-up triangular things out of the bag on her arm and slipped them onto Madelyne’s forearms. Madelyne flopped her arms and giggled. “I’s ready now.”

  “Okay, give me a second.” Peyton reached down and tugged the hem of the white knit dress, sliding it off her body and tucking it into the bag.

  Luke swallowed hard. Holy hell, Peyton looked good. Amazing, in fact. She filled out the dark green fabric of the bikini in a perfect hourglass. He had to force himself not to let his jaw drop, or to say any of the numerous stupid things a man could say when standing beside a beautiful woman in a bikini.

  Peyton took Madelyne’s hand and led her toward the pool. The little girl lingered on the top step, her eyes wide and worried again. Peyton kept going, the bottom half of her body disappearing into the shallow end.

  Luke pulled off his t-shirt and tossed it, along with his car keys and wallet, onto an empty chair, then slipped into the pool beside Peyton. “Water’s a bit cold.”

  Peyton grinned. “Are you saying the big, strapping football captain is feeling a little wimpy?”

  “Not at all.” Though he was feeling a little pleased that she’d called him big and strapping. Jeez. He really needed to start thinking with the parts of his brain that existed above his waist.

  “Come on, Maddy girl. Your turn.” Peyton put out her arms.

  Madelyne stood on the first step, water swirling around her ankles. “I just stay here, Auntie P.”

  “Come on, you can swim with me. I’ll hold on to you. You’ll be safe and snug as a bug in a rug.”

  Madelyne shook her head and toed at the water. “I just stay here.”

  “You can do it, sweetie pie. I know you can.”

  Madelyne dropped onto the edge of the pool and swished her feet back and forth, creating little ripples. Her mood had shifted into reserved and distant, her shoulders tensed. “I just stay here,” she repeated.

  Peyton sighed. “Are you sure? Because Luke and I are having fun in the water.” Peyton sat back, sweeping her hands back and forth. She arched a brow in Luke’s direction. “Aren’t we?”

  “Oh, yeah, uh, sure.” He did the same as Peyton, but felt like an idiot pretending to have fun in the shallow end. He forced a grin to his face even though the water was about ten degrees too cold. “Lots of fun.”

  “Swimming is awesome, Maddy. And the water is warm.” She glanced at Luke.

  “Yeah, warm.”

  “A little enthusiasm, Mr. De Niro,” Peyton whispered to him.

  He widened his grin. “It’s super warm!”

  Peyton shook her head and bit back a laugh. “You are hopeless. Don’t quit your day job.”

  Madelyne just kicked her feet back and forth, watching the adults make fools of themselves. “I just stay here. I swim next time, Auntie P.”

  Sadness flickered across Peyton’s face, then she smiled. “Okay, sweetie. That’s fine.”

  “She doesn’t swim?” Luke asked.

  Peyton shook her head, then lowered her voice. “She’s scared of the water. I don’t know where she got that from because Susannah and I loved the water.”

  He remembered. A lot of his best memories centered around those times at the lake with Susannah and Peyton. Those were the best summers he could remember, before his life had taken a left turn he hadn’t seen coming. “That summer of senior year, I swear the three of us spent every single day at the lake. Me and Susannah and...” He flicked some water at Peyton. “Tagalong.”

  Her cheeks colored at the old nickname. “It was just because there wasn’t anyone my age at the lake that summer.”

  “Jack and Mac were there.”

  “Your brothers?” Peyton snorted. “They were always busy. Jack, off hanging with his own friends and Meri’s family. As for Mac, he never wanted anything to do with any of us. I swear, Mac was born an adult.”

  Luke laughed. “Very true.”

  Then he sobered, because he thought of how long Mac had been gone, how his older brother’s absence had created a vacuum in the family. When they were kids, Jack, Luke and Mac had been the three musketeers, as their mother dubbed them, in trouble more often than not. But as they got older, Mac became the serious one, the determined one. He’d worry over his grades, obsess over every word in an essay, work harder and more than anyone else to keep the T’s crossed and the I’s dotted. He’d been the one who butted heads with their parents the most, the one who thumbed his nose at curfews and rules. The black sheep with the straight As, which made it awful hard to justify grounding him. The minute he was old enough to leave, Mac headed out of Stone Gap, his returns on par with sightings of Halley’s Comet.

  Luke glanced over at Madelyne, sitting on the step, prancing a Barbie doll around the edge of the pool. She was his daughter, though he didn’t feel a single thread of emotional connection to what was, essentially, a child stranger. He could see their link in her features, in the way she cocked her head to study him, in the offbeat way she assessed people’s worth. In those ways, they were alike. And maybe he was hoping for too much, expecting some instant bond.

  Madelyne, he realized, had a hole in her life now, too. One that was never going to be filled by a quick visit at Christmas, a few checks here and there. What was it the statisticians said? Kids raised with a strong male and female role model did better. They were happier, more grounded. Madelyne clearly already had a strong role model in Peyton, but Luke—

  Well, no one was holding him up as an example of what to be when you grew up.

  “So, what does this spending-time-with-Madelyne thing entail?” Luke asked. “Exactly.”

  Peyton grinned. “Don’t look so panicked.”

  He waved a hand. “Does this face say panicked?”

  She took a step closer to him, swirling water around their hips. She feigned deep scrutiny, peering into his eyes. Her perfume, something light and airy, wafted in the space between them. “Terrified.”

  “Me? I’m only terrified of anacondas and great white sharks. Not kids
.”

  That made Peyton laugh. He’d never noticed her laugh before, but decided he liked the sound of it. “Wait till she’s having a complete meltdown because she wants to eat cake for dinner or stay up past her bedtime or buy that six-foot teddy bear at the mall. Then we’ll see how the big, brave bachelor reacts.”

  “I’ll be fine,” he said, speaking with a confidence he didn’t feel. Hell, he could barely take care of himself. And the thought of being responsible for another person—

  Damn.

  “I’ll be fine,” he repeated, more for himself than Peyton.

  The tease dropped from Peyton’s features. Her voice sobered. “You better be, Luke. A kid isn’t a watch you can return to the store because it doesn’t match your suit.”

  “If you haven’t noticed, I don’t wear a watch or own a suit.” He tossed her a grin, slipping into the familiar role of class flirt. “And I’m still a big kid myself.”

  “That particular fact I noticed.”

  For some strange reason, the fact that Peyton had noticed anything at all about him made Luke smile. Years ago, he’d barely known she existed, except as a thorn in his side when he’d been trying to be alone with Susannah. But now, standing in the water with this older, sexier, more intriguing Peyton—

  “Auntie P? Can I play with my other dolls now?”

  “Sure, sure.” Peyton strode out of the pool, reaching for Madelyne as the little girl was heading for the table where Peyton had placed their things. “Wait, let me get the bag for you.”

  Luke’s gaze followed the cascade of water running down Peyton’s back, over her buttocks, down her shapely legs. There were a few things that improved with age. Cheddar cheese. Red wine. And Peyton Reynolds.

  He reminded himself he wasn’t here for Peyton or for anything other than his daughter. He was trying to be responsible, for once in his life, and being responsible didn’t include lusting after his kid’s aunt.

  He was a father now, whether he was ready or not, and that meant being a whole other person than the one he had been for the past twenty-six years. He could only pray he didn’t screw it up.